Mental States

Cartoon reading "The Journey was never intended to be a straight line."

For what ever reason these past few days I've been thinking about alternative futures.  What I mean is what might have happened if I married my high school sweetheart (divorced and paying for 3 college educations). What might have been if I didn't leave Charlotte, NC (probably would still be working as a engineering technician and married to an ex-stripper).  What might have happened if I would have stayed in Pittsburgh and not lost two great jobs in a row (PNC Bank and then the IRS).  What would have happened if I never met Susan (jail or a mental institution possibly?) .

The choices I made were the right ones for me at the time.  They brought me here to Florida where I own my own home (paid in full), am more or less debt free and finally believe that I got it right.  In addition to my work with 3M I own my own company and have additional income coming in from other sources.

I'm happy.

It's with those choices in mind that I find myself wondering about choices I need to make concerning more practical matters..  It's technically still spring but here in West Central Florida the temperatures are already climbing into the mid 80's (high 20's to low 30's C).  The humidity is starting to climb as well and that means it's the dance between safety and comfort begins again.  The rain is coming as well.

Yep, seen this.

All that Florida law requires for safety is eye protection.  That is not clearly defined to my knowledge.  Does that mean just a pair of sunglasses?  Anyhow what cop would pull you over for not having eye protection?  Well, I would but then I'm a dick too.

I've been going out in sneakers and without my jacket.  Wearing a helmet for me is - pardon the pun - a no brainer.  I know what can happen to the brain and do not want to go there.  I have nothing to offer but my mind in most cases.  Intellectually I know that ATGATT is the only way to go and as such I've been looking for a light mesh jacket that I can afford.  I've found two that I really like, but just haven't bought them yet.   It's stupid and silly of me and I know that ever day I'm out without my heavy "winter" jacket on is taking a risk.  The only reason I've not purchased either yet (and they are both under $100 US) is that I also know how fast things can fall apart.  I've been to the top of the mountain, it's a quick roll downhill.  That extra $100 in the bank is part of that safety net.

I can't help but wonder if I'm a little more careful when riding not in full gear?  If my accident in December taught me anything is that things change instantly and that without my gear, it would have been a lot worse.  So it's a battle between the safe and logical vs the cheap and miserly.

I've noticed something else when I am in full ATGATT mode.  I feel safer.  I know that I'm not.  It's as if their really is a suit of amour about me.  All I'm lacking is the lance.
Does that false sense of security make me take chances?  I have gotten in the habit of always reminding myself to check things, to watch my speed.  To be safe.

To pay attention to my mental state.